Mom, Dad and I have had several lengthy discussions regarding dialysis. Well, actually mom and I have had the discussions and have tried to get dad to comment, not too successfully. Today we turned the TV off rather than just down and had him actually participate, minimally.
Mom keeps thinking she is going to quit dialysis and then the next day decides she will keep going. This has gone on and on, today we really talked about it. I told her it was too hard on her to keep making this decision, over and over again. She thinks she will quit, then the next day decides she will not quit, back and forth. Today I told her let's make a decision and then make it work (yes Kib, I do listen to you sometimes, and even follow your guidance).
As long as they can do dialysis, mom is going to continue going. Her calling in life right now is to be here for and with dad, and as long as the doctors can keep her there, she believes this is where she should be. She believes she does not have much in the way of quality of life, but if you look at it another way, she has everything regarding quality of life if her calling in life at this time is to be with dad. She wants no additional intervention, but as long as the clinic can administer dialysis, mom is going to continue. That could change at any time, depending on some kind of complication, but she is going to continue until the center tells her there is nothing more they can do or until her heart gives out on her.
I have assured her I will support her with this decision, and dad was very emotional as he expressed he felt this was the right decision.
Her heart is not healthy as we all know, her blood pressure is sky high, but for some reason, she "takes a licking and just keeps on ticking" (an old Timex watch slogan). We decided God is in the "driver's seat" regarding all of this, and if He had wanted her home before now he has had plenty of chance to take her. He has provided the doctors and treatment options for her to allow her to be here to serve dad for a while longer. She does nothing more than keep an eye on dad, keep him company, watch tv, talk on the phone, get him water or twinkies once in a while, and look through her old pictures and papers. She is happy, and will continue on in this path as long as God allows her to. Maybe just as dad needed this past 3 years to mend his relationship with his family, mom needs some time to serve dad at this time.
(Her other reason for not wanting to quit dialysis now is that the weather is not very good in Utah for a burial, and she does not want to be buried in the winter. She is hoping that when the time comes it will be pleasant weather, not cold and snowy. She laughs when she explains this, and I see Grandma Lott in her when she tries to rationalize everything like this. But......I tend to agree. A summer burial is much more pleasant than winter)
At this point in time, we are not going to pursue hospice for mom, but will focus on her life rather than possible death. She has spent way too much time lately thinking about dieing, and we are going to acknowledge that is inevitable, sooner than later, but I would like her to dwell on living for now.
The "decision" has been made, and I am going to help her make it work now. I just wanted to let you all know as this has been such a back and forth decision for her for several months now, and I am going to put it to rest. I want you all to know this is the right decision, and I feel very much at peace with this decision, as does mom and dad.
Thank you all for all of your love and support, you are the best! Keep up the phone calls and conversations, mom lives for them, dad enjoys them if they don't come during Glenn Beck, and I look forward to the distraction for both of them. (This picture was taken at the hospital in November, not at the dialysis center)
Mom keeps thinking she is going to quit dialysis and then the next day decides she will keep going. This has gone on and on, today we really talked about it. I told her it was too hard on her to keep making this decision, over and over again. She thinks she will quit, then the next day decides she will not quit, back and forth. Today I told her let's make a decision and then make it work (yes Kib, I do listen to you sometimes, and even follow your guidance).
As long as they can do dialysis, mom is going to continue going. Her calling in life right now is to be here for and with dad, and as long as the doctors can keep her there, she believes this is where she should be. She believes she does not have much in the way of quality of life, but if you look at it another way, she has everything regarding quality of life if her calling in life at this time is to be with dad. She wants no additional intervention, but as long as the clinic can administer dialysis, mom is going to continue. That could change at any time, depending on some kind of complication, but she is going to continue until the center tells her there is nothing more they can do or until her heart gives out on her.
I have assured her I will support her with this decision, and dad was very emotional as he expressed he felt this was the right decision.
Her heart is not healthy as we all know, her blood pressure is sky high, but for some reason, she "takes a licking and just keeps on ticking" (an old Timex watch slogan). We decided God is in the "driver's seat" regarding all of this, and if He had wanted her home before now he has had plenty of chance to take her. He has provided the doctors and treatment options for her to allow her to be here to serve dad for a while longer. She does nothing more than keep an eye on dad, keep him company, watch tv, talk on the phone, get him water or twinkies once in a while, and look through her old pictures and papers. She is happy, and will continue on in this path as long as God allows her to. Maybe just as dad needed this past 3 years to mend his relationship with his family, mom needs some time to serve dad at this time.
(Her other reason for not wanting to quit dialysis now is that the weather is not very good in Utah for a burial, and she does not want to be buried in the winter. She is hoping that when the time comes it will be pleasant weather, not cold and snowy. She laughs when she explains this, and I see Grandma Lott in her when she tries to rationalize everything like this. But......I tend to agree. A summer burial is much more pleasant than winter)
At this point in time, we are not going to pursue hospice for mom, but will focus on her life rather than possible death. She has spent way too much time lately thinking about dieing, and we are going to acknowledge that is inevitable, sooner than later, but I would like her to dwell on living for now.
The "decision" has been made, and I am going to help her make it work now. I just wanted to let you all know as this has been such a back and forth decision for her for several months now, and I am going to put it to rest. I want you all to know this is the right decision, and I feel very much at peace with this decision, as does mom and dad.
Thank you all for all of your love and support, you are the best! Keep up the phone calls and conversations, mom lives for them, dad enjoys them if they don't come during Glenn Beck, and I look forward to the distraction for both of them. (This picture was taken at the hospital in November, not at the dialysis center)
After reading this blog it helped me to realize I realize I have awesome grandparents!!
ReplyDelete